I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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