The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
