I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
