my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
