FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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