Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What a dumb baby whore.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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