end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
