doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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