he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
