"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
