woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
