I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Two words: blizzard sex
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
