So drunk its hurt
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
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I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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