I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
