we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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