I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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