It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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