i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
