hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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