Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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