you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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