I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
