you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
