The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
