We're facebook friends in real life
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
