It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
