he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
