I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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