end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
