The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
