why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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