I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He shit in the fireplace
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