did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
