Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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