M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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