I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
