i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
