mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
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