no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
