I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
