you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
