I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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