you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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