didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
