she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
