I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
