well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
