I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
