kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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