Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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