just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
