When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
