Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
