I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
