I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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