I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
