haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
MIDGETS
????
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
