In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
