Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
