we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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