I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize