I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize