I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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