dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
