Michael Bay diarrhea
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
