I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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