i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
this is an emotional support booty call
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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