all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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