after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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