I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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