Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
