Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
