He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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