Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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